Lets face it, being a parent is a huge responsibility. And with such responsibility comes many challenges, like worrying. Yes, that “W’ word. It’s the feeling that every parent can relate to no matter what your age, social class, marital status, race or whether you are a stay-at-home parent or a working parent.
And the worrying varies in different forms, depending on your child’s stage of life. For instance, if you are pregnant, you worry if your baby is growing healthy and if you doing your part to insure that. Then, as they grow into toddlers, you worry about them hurting themselves as they explore their newfound freedoms when they learn to crawl and walk.
Then, as they start going to school, you have other new worries like emotional welfare and academic concerns. Too add to your worry, with all the craziness going on in the world today, there is their safety in school and outside of school and of course,
And when they become teenagers, you worry if they are hanging with the wrong influences, concerns about drugs, sex and Rock & Roll…we’ll, maybe that’s my generation, but you get the point. And of course we want to tear our hairs out with when they get their drivers license…Yikes!!!
When you think you’ve got this parenting thing down-packed, they go off to college. Now, we worry about how we are going pay for it! Hoping they will get a scholarships and financial aid. We worry if they are ok adjusting to college and hoping that we raised them right, so they have the tools to deal with the challenging of life. Oh, I forgot to mention being upset with them because they don’t call us enough to stop us from worrying!
Worrying about them socially, physically, emotionally, providing for them and of course, being judged as a parent. Because you know, if anything goes wrong with our kids, we always take the heat for it. Negative thoughts run in your mind like, “Aw, you must be a bad parent / care-giver. That’s why this bad stuff happened to your child. It’s all your fault. If you had of done this or not done that, then your kid wouldn’t be in this situation.” Does that sound familiar you you?
I will tell you personally that from the time I found out I was pregnant until this very day (my kids now being teenagers) that I worry. But what is my greatest worry? The safety of my kids. We, as parents, are just intuitively protective of our children (and we need to be!), regardless of their age. And lets just keep it real, there all tons of things that allow us parents to feel insecure about. But sometimes we can get so consumed with worrying that we second guess our own decisions that effect the welfare of our kids. Questions like, “Did I do my part in protecting my kid(s) the best way I could or maybe I protected them too much and didn’t allow them room to breathe.”
My second worry is that my kids will blame me in the future for all their psychological problems and say I am the cause of all their issues (isn’t that how it usually goes!)
I’m giving you parents permission to not put too much weight on yourself, It’s ok. The vast majority us do the best we can.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, there are no perfect parents and you will make mistakes. And even all those parents that you think have it all together..trust me, that don’t!!! We are all “a work in progress” and we all are just trying to figure this parenting thing out.
Protect them the best way you can, love them the best way you can, and be there for them the best way you can…
Just do the best you can do and be the best parent you can be….and that is all that anyone can ask of you.
And as my wise old,15 year old son says.…”just chillax.”